Hounds of Love: Poem
Content warning: sexual assault, physical assault.
is being sued by Donald Trump for daring to say he raped her, after it was proven in court that he did. The article is linked at the bottom.
I commented in solidarity that the boy who sexually assaulted me, should it have gone public, would have done something similar for daring to say something negative about him. If not him, his parents. For Endangering His Future And His Reputation, or something privileged, rich and white like that.
Why didn’t it go public? Because of the law and the cops. What the police said about me over live radio is the title of the episode where I told my story (NSFW—sexual assault and physical assault): “this girl just had a bad date, this won’t take long”. Yes, he did. Episode link for here below.
So, in solidarity and support for E. Jean, I am going to share my poem about the assault and his stalking me afterwards. I hope someone takes a little strength from it as I did from writing it.
This was taken about nine months before it all started.
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedHounds of LoveText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedThe blunt truth, like the blunt tip of a hewn arrowhead:Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedYou stalked me.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedAfter you sexually assaulted me.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedStalked. Pursued. Shadowed. Harrassed. Watched.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedHunted.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedSome of our (then) mutual friends are learning of this, your hunt, now, reading this poem.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedThere was always an arrow pointed at me then—Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedCollege studentText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedVictimText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedWhite hind, hunted doeText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedquivering, poised at the moment before the dash into the hedgerowText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedAnorexic purging paranoicText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedPick your poison or flavor
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedMaking much ado about nothingText within this block will maintain its original spacing when published"This girl just had a bad date," the cop saidText within this block will maintain its original spacing when published(but I was choked and tortured)Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published"I thought you'd be past this by now," the friend saidText within this block will maintain its original spacing when published(but I was choked and tortured)
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedArrows to my heartText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedand thenText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publisheditText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedwasn'tText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedeverText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedoverText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedSorority meetings after darkText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedNightime classesText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedMidnight dashesText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedto Blockbuster VideoText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedto avoid those late feesText within this block will maintain its original spacing when published(be kind, rewind)Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedand the hunter always followedText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publisheddeep into the forest of campusText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publisheddown the wide lane of Avent FerryText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedinto the shelter of my first homeText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedmy Mews, I your dark museText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedon foot or by car, you followedText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedmy ex-boyfriend, my attacker
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published("This girl just had a bad date")
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedStalking your preyText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedWatching meText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedYour arrow cockedText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedYour cock bowedText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedReveling in the huntText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedREVELNIT my license plate saidText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedand o you must have laughed as you followed its beacon in the darkText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedFollowing my hare-white PreludeText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedPrelude to more pain?Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedKnowing I couldn't do anythingText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedbecause the law and (some of) our mutual friends were on your side
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published("I thought you'd be past this by now.")
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedWould that I could turn back time and never open my doorText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedto you that first timeText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedor the next dayText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedwhen you wanted to apologize for that first time forText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedforcing your hard kisses and touches upon me,Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedthat blurry watercolor memory of a horror show of a next dayText within this block will maintain its original spacing when published(I was choked and tortured)Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedBut instead
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedyou followed and watched and followed and watched and absorbed me with you eyes and your feet and your mileage and you eyes and your phone calls
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedYou should be Artemis' stag, quivering in hedgerows, you should feel how it is to be the hunted one, transformed for watching what was not yours, there in the Mews by the Lake,Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedpursued by your own hunting dogs
To
The
Teeth.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedBut instead I am the one transformed by your hunt.
Forever.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI poke the wound that used to fester, the wound shaped IikeText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI SHOULD NOT HAVE LET YOU INText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedonce on Saturday nightText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedagain on Sunday morningText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedIt has healed with jagged edges and no longer festers.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedIt no longer tells me to go back and do it over, that it was my fault.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published(Be kind, rewind)Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedYou were the hunter, and prey is not to blame.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI face your hounds of love head-on in therapy.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedNo more quivering in the hedgerows.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedAnd I am an archer now.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI hope you see yourself on the newsText within this block will maintain its original spacing when published#metooText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedYes, you, too.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedMuch ado about nothing! the men cry. and I see your next-day violent apopoletic apology ruse in their predatory eyes. I see your blue eyes in their every shade.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published"I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes." Indeed, much ado.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI almost died in your lap, because your forced your heart upon my body. Your stalker hunted hound eyes tried to engulf me and tear me apart.
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedMuch ado about nothing
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published("This girl just had a bad date")
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published"Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps," wrote the Bard.Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI am no longer trapped in your Mews. Yours, you Robbed me of them, the robber with the apt name.
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedAnd I am an archer now.
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published5.14.20, expanded 7.18.20
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Carla Pettigrew Hufstedler
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