Independence Day: Poem

Came to me almost fully formed as I am dealing with this new normal, sleepless and thinking about when I first noticed symptoms of Ehlers-Danlos or POTS as an adult. You can see EDS in my user picture at aged two (or earlier?), and I remember POTS symptoms in my teenaged years, but, I wondered, when did I noticed my long walks being curtailed in adulthood? Work becoming difficult? Then I remembered this Fourth of July, where I was shamed accidentally-on-purpose not quite out of earshot by people who knew better. Yes, this might be one of the more dramatic first times.

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedFourth of JulyText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedSylvia’s shoreText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedThe sky opening up with flowers of lightText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedThe sky lowering like a trapText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI felt the storm approaching of chokingText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedClosed throatText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI might die this timeText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI might die every timeText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI asked you to hold my handsText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedTouch the only thing to ground meText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedand trap the fireworks of panic adrenalineText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedMemories trapped in my bodyText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI did not know yet that I am the archerText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedYou rocked back on your heels and looked at your family instead of meText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedNot here you saidText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedYou’re okay you saidText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedMeaning you don’t want to clasp hands like kindergarteners London bridge is falling downText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedBut it is and I need you to catch itText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedYou promisedText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI walk away to catch it on my own holding my throatText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedfeeling a shift as dangerous flowers explode overheardText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedA differenceText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedVertigoText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedBrain zapsText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedPainText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedThings are changing in my bodyText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI don’t think anything is wrong with herText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedThis isn’t just panicText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedSudden fatigue I go leaden under the petalsText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedShe just does this for attentionText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI walk away from your family’s definition of me into the darkText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedAway from the garden towards the rocky shoreText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedWhere Plath walked with her father as a childText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedTo the soundtrack of warText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI laboriously climb the staircase to our apartmentText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedAnd shed my ridiculously festive flag shirt in the guest roomText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedStrangely I can breathe againText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedMy mind is as deep dark and unknown as Winthrop Bay tonightText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI can still hear the flowers of combatText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedThat means you’re not home yetText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedThat means I have time to not think (to not mask yes I know that's what it is called now
yes I know who I am now)Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published12.10.23