March, 2022
What I'm...
Reading:
For Lent, I am reading a funky devotional that I won in a Goodreads Giveaway, Good Enough: 40ish Devotions For a Life of Imperfection by Kate Bowler and Jessica Ritchie. My Lenten task (rather than giving something up) is decluttering. Some days it is physical clutter, some days it is digital—people I am following online, email I receive, cleaning up my hard drive and deleting apps on my iPad and iPhone. It has been so satisfying so far.
For the podcast, I just finished
Something Needs to Be Done About Prince Edward County, by Kristin Green, and it was a tough read. (Will be episode 79). I read some difficult stuff, both fiction and nonfiction, and that’s not hyperbole; I once sat in the sun and read Poppy Z. Brite’s very graphic Exquisite Corpse on Easter weekend one year, and I think my acquaintance, rest in peace sweet man, Jack Ketchum’s notably hard-to-finish novel The Girl Next Door is a work of genius. And I had trouble reading this book, and I struggled to take my notes from it as well. It stressed me out, and pissed me off on many levels. I am also reading, of course, Mark Z. Danielewski’s House of Leaves for my ongoing series on it, which will be a welcome palette cleanser after Prince Edward County.
My ebook jam right now is Devil House by John Darinelle, and it is enchanting me. Thank you, Amherst Public Library and Libby app. Incredible horror novel discoursing about the nature of writing true crime and demented domiciles. If y’all don’t know, that’s a term I coined a long time ago, way back in the 20th century when I ran the grimoire horror literature mailing list for houses or buildings that Just Aren’t Right in some way. I have the archive for grimoire stashed somewhere, on a Zip disk (showing my age); perhaps I will strip people’s identities and upload the interesting discussions and information onto this Substack so that it can live again and its data can be used.
My audiobook is Tananarive Due’s The Good House, another demented domicile horror novel, one I have been meaning to read for a long time. It’s narrated by Robin Miles, who has a lovely voice. Her novel Ghost Summer is included in my Audible subscription (they keep adding more and more) so I snagged it, as was the novelization for Halloween Kills, written by the horror author Tim Waggoner and narrated by the actor Bronson Pinchot, who knows how to narrate. Very excited.
My choice for my Audible subscription this month was nonfiction: Demonic Foes: My Twenty-Five Years as a Psychiatrist Investigating Possessions, Diabolic Attacks, and the Paranormal, by Richard Gallagher, narrated by Kevin Collins. Should be interesting. It’s my belief—and experience in my short time as a paranormal investigator before I became too sick—that the people are exposed to the strangest phenomena are the police, paramedics, and psychiatrists and therapists. I know in my time as a therapist I had one client that I have wondered about ever since. Those jobs have these weird private, liminal spaces that lend themselves to high strangeness. Who knows.
Watching:
Sister Wives was a moment. Good gracious. Look, don’t have a three-part tell-all/reunion/whatchacallit and stay on the surface. Three hours with almost no content and some hand-holding and being careful with the Brown family adults. This is the time for the hard questions, correct? Whole lotta nothing. It was like TLC was afraid to offend them and they would quit/storm off. Thank goodness for the Surviving Sister Wives podcast for saying what I feel, making me laugh, and presenting theories.
I watch some Real Housewives: Salt Lake, New Jersey, and Orange County.
Quick take: I like Heather Gay, and I think Jen Shaw may be guilty. I think most of the women on New Jersey are horrible friends/mean girls, especially Regina George Margaret. I am glad Heather Dubrow has returned, and I have always enjoyed her.
I watch reality tv because it has nothing to do with being chronically ill and disabled. Escapism.
Teen Mom: I don’t understand why Cheyenne is on this show. Kail is a hypocrite but fascinating to watch as a former therapist; she allows me to regularly use my counseling graduate degree. I am rooting for Leah and her new man. Leah’s twins are both me—Ali, because I understand being disabled; Gracie, because I understand being the healthy sibling of a disabled child and how difficult that is. (I talk about my brother, Eric, in the episodes Christmas Cupcakes and Family Trees.)
In more serious fare:
The Haunting of Bly Manor: Loving it. I love the gorgeous gray palette. I love the setting. I love almost every interpretation of The Turn of the Screw, with those spooky kids and the sinister adults (sinister kids and spooky adults). I am up to the (first) huge reveal (episode 5), and I guessed it from the start, I assume because I am a writer and look for the smallest details woven into stories, but deeply enjoyed how it was revealed.
Marianne. Yes. So much fun. So gross. So delicious. It’s on Netflix. Basically, a YA author has just finished her series about a witch fighter, Lizzie Lark, and her nemesis, Marianne the witch, to the chagrin of her fans. But it turns out Marianne may be real, and embedded in the author’s past. I love it so much. On episode 6.
Last four movies on my Letterboxd:
No Exit (2022): starts out as a thriller, then turns into a horror movie 2/3 of the way through in this one moment that is a doozy.
They Come Knocking (2019): finally, a Black Eyed Kids horror movie! Not the best, but it’s a start. Horror movie about grief.
Dark Skies (2013): I love J. K. Simmons. I see the beginning of this alien horror movie as a tribute to Poltergeist.
Aftermath (2021): No. Horror movie that was so Not Good that I organized my planner while watching it.
Listening:
Podcasts: The Dropout, about Elizabeth Holmes and Theranos
Bye Pumkin—delightful pop culture podcast by Princess, I love her so much, she relaxes me
Crimelines: Charlie just did a detailed update on Sherri Papini’s arrest
Alanis Morrisette: remastered Jagged Little Pill (the hidden track at the end is one of the best)
Lorde: Solar Power, Pure Heroine—both her songwriting and her voice blow me away, especially given her young age
Taylor Swift: Red (Taylor’s Version)
Thom Yorke: Suspiria soundtrack (listened to while I took my Prince Edward County notes)
Plus bought an album frame for my picture version of Prince’s Purple Rain. I’ll share a photo when I get it hung. Purple Rain is one of my favorite albums ever.
Playing:
I don’t play many games. I do like Best Fiends, which sounds funny to say as a podcaster, given how may podcasters advertise for it. It’s good for fidgeting when I listen to podcasts or audiobooks, or for when my pain level is really high. I play Words with Friends; please feel free to add me, I’m Carla21672.
The other game I adore is The Sims 4. I love it, love it, love it. I’ve been playing the Sims for years. I’ll send screenshots and links to funny videos in future mailings. For now, here’s one of my kids dancing to her jukebox, set to ridiculous music:
Learning:
I love Duolingo. It’s keeping my mind sharp, which is extremely important to me given brain fog. If you want to add me, please feel free: I’m CarlaCupcakes. I am refreshing my high school and college French, learning Spanish, Latin and Scottish Gaelic. I am a language geek; I love seeing how they are related and how words have developed.
Duolingo also sometimes makes me laugh with the odd sentences they throw in to keep us on our toes. I screencapture them to share. Here’s a recent favorite:
Don’t know when that phrase will come in handy, but okay.
Knitting:
Finishing up my stash yarn sweater. Basically, I loved the sweatshirt fit of my skull sweater. So I rewrote the pattern, removing the skull intarsia, and I elongated it a couple of inches to make it a tunic. Then I gathered together all of my worsted stash yarn, and striped it. To create a visual sense of order to the stripes, I followed up each random stripe with either the white or the burgundy from the skull sweater. I decided to visibly finish it by crocheting the pieces together, which I have never done before, but it is working quite well. I’ve done both sides and one arm, and set in that arm so far. All of the crocheted finishing is in the white, so it is highly visible. I left the ribbed bottom unconnected so it makes a cute v opening at the bottom of the tunic. So many ends to weave in when you knit stripes, but it is moving right along. Found a dropped stitch at the bind off end of the second arm, so I will pick it out and reknit and bind off—it fell too much for me to fix it with a crochet hook.
I’ll add in the other measurements for the sweater so it can be resized and share the pattern to the mailing list for y’all. If you make it, please share pics with me!
If you want to make the skulls instarsia sweater, here’s the Lion Brand pattern. And my quick and dirty try-on over my pajamas when I finished it:
Health:
This part’s rough. Weird stuff is happening. I am having a whole bunch of rough and new symptoms. Two of my specialists, including my allergist, are working together with blood tests and a chest x-ray. I have a pulling it together appointment with my PCP on Friday. My allergist thinks it is Cushing’s disease, which is the opposite of Addison’s disease, which is what my brother had. My body is making too much of its own steroids (cortisol) in response to stimuli. I will keep you updated.
I hope you all are well, and that you enjoyed this update. For more of the minutae in my brain, and things that are amusing me, check out my Pinterest. I often save things while listening to an audiobook or podcast, or when my pain level is high or I can’t sleep.
Stay safe, and take care of yourself and each other.
Always,
Carla