That I Would Be Good
Where I Have Been
That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds
That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing
That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy
That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good whether with or without you
—Alanis Morissette
I haven’t been podcasting; I haven’t been writing here, or in general. Although I had a creative burst and brought my and ’s horror project to over 20,000 words tonight, and can’t sleep for thinking about it.
I’ve been sicker than usual. Much more than I am used to micromanaging. I can work through pain, I do it all the time. I have 24/7 pain, as I have discussed on the podcast. But my body is, to paraphrase Taylor Swift, on some new shit, but it’s not good, and the pun isn’t funny.